Reflecting on My Special Friend, Now Passed: Mary Carson

All my life, I’ve connected best with older friends, many much older than me. I value their hard-earned knowledge and the kindness they show in sharing it. Serious advice from a well-experienced elder is invaluable.

My heart ached knowing she hadn’t received the love she deserved from those closest. I won’t say any more, but I had to say the minimum. Just remembering it, I feel the anger inside building! Poor, beautiful, kind, loving Mary. At least she found complete appreciation from me and a few other close friends I’ve met. (By the way, with all my might, I kept my tongue tied at her wake.)

Back to the nice story: She often brought me flowers from her garden, like these from the QLD Golden Shower tree (see the photo). Some lasted three weeks in a vase. Once she gave me a box of “Mary’s Gone Crackers” (the organic ones—see the photo on my website; search the words and it’ll appear), perfect to enjoy with beautiful NZ Mainland cheese. I treasured her visits. I looked forward to seeing her every Wednesday morning like clockwork.

She painted and always showed me her latest works. She had fresh display ideas for the shop, and I used a few because she was right. I loved that. Mary was so caring; she thought about her friends constantly. Such a rare find.

I’ll certainly miss those weekly visits and our sometimes very personal conversations. She was one of the few I could sit and talk to about anything, once again very few and far between.

Our lives were completely opposite from start to finish. She was once a school principal, very well educated and well spoken, and remained active in her community as a Parish Councillor and choir member at St Paul’s East Kew, her nearby Anglican parish, where her gentle guidance and beautiful voice touched so many lives. I grew up and maintained my life in a much different way. Yet we loved each other’s contributions to the world. We discovered she’d taught a very close friend’s wife, Amanda, as a young woman. Amanda remembered Mary’s caring guidance. When I told Mary, she remembered every detail about Amanda. Truly remarkable. I was so happy they caught up before Mary passed, and so were they.

Mary wrote the most touching letter to the courts on my behalf after my harsh run-in with a parking inspector (my fault). Her words brought tears to my eyes. She saw things inside me that I’d never said. She simply knew. My gratitude was and still is immense. I’m sure the judge took her words in; I received a slight telling-off (“well deserved”), but the minimum fine. 🙏

We gained a mutual friend, John Adam. John made the effort to come by most Wednesdays too. Three completely and outrageously different characters had a bond that was truly remarkable. Not so long ago, but I wish I could go back, just for one more group chat. Lots of laughter and love always ✨.

See the story on my website: “My Wednesday crew are back!”

You’ll also see how much she loved my dog Jack and bird Joey—both now passed. The last time we saw Mary, Jack wouldn’t leave her side. I now know why. When Joey passed, Mary wrote the most touching eulogy for him.

She brought me back into my business. During the government controls I totally disobeyed and was aggressively against, Mary always brought me back to near normal (not easy at times, to be honest). I was never your typical antique dealer! Her logic, her ways of explaining, and her calming presence were far above normal, much like my other beautiful friend Behruz Aligorgi, also passed on. I know I was meant to be part of their lives, as they were my guiding angels.

For that reason, I’d put retirement-sale signs in the windows and only price stickers on the stock. I’d lost interest in the shop. Mary turned me around, bringing me back to full attention with proper full descriptions and a few other important details. She reopened my eyes.

Mary loved my writing and encouraged me to pursue it. I have so much to thank Mary for. I know she sees me from above.

Mary died unexpectedly at 80 on January 22, 2024.

The following Christmas, I had to delete her name from my Christmas Day call list (I keep one for close friends and relatives so my bad memory doesn’t let anyone down). I lost yet another close friend. And on that note, in life, we don’t find these connections easily. We hold on to them tight. When they pass on, nobody can take their place.

Mary was also devoted to her beloved cat Mitty, who brought her quiet joy and companionship at home in Kew, another part of the gentle, nurturing soul she shared so freely.

One gift I’ll treasure forever is the book Be Bold she inscribed to me:

Especially for Jamie

my “All Time Friend”

Mary

With special thanks and memories

2022

I just wanted to say a few more words about my “All Time Friend.” She already knows I miss her, and I’m looking forward to seeing her again, hopefully in many years to come. ✨🙏